I read in one of the books about a cool ritual and I wanted to ask you what you think about it. For me it works like therapy.
We take a piece of paper. In the middle, we draw a heart or write "love," "banknote," "own apartment," "car" - whatever we want. Then we write out all our negative emotions about it, such as "I'll always be alone," "I'll never embrace myself financially," "I'm stressed about debt." In the book, this ritual was called "The Monster Wagon" or something like that. The idea is to look your demons straight in the eye. We write down honestly on a piece of paper everything we feel, all the pain, fears and anxieties. We write it down in dark, cold colors. Then we burn this piece of paper and throw the ashes into the water. We take a new piece of paper and on it, in cheerful, warm colors, we write down all the positive emotions associated with achieving what we want, such as "I feel understood," "I know I have someone close to me," "I can finally afford my own apartment."
To be honest, I'm not a magician or anything like that. I don't know if it somehow changes much, although Crowley claimed that any intentional action is magic. In my case, the anxiety card burned nicely, the first time I've had such a fire!
Even if you consider it just a game, I'm still throwing this idea in here because, for me, it works therapeutically. It helps tame fears and get rid of negative emotions.
Let me start by saying that Crowley was not as brilliant a magician as some people think, and is a rather dark character who is better to stay away from.
As for your ritual, the fact that you feel relief when you perform it proves its effectiveness. What you describe seems to be true, so if it helps you, it's worth continuing.
There are plenty of rituals similar to what you describe. They share basic principles, although they may differ in some details.
These kinds of techniques are used in therapy, coaching and even at ... retreats. As in magic, the fundamental role here is played by faith and intention