So how to explain it. Ever since I can remember, it's like bad luck has been constantly chasing me, or a curse, I don't know what else to call it. Since I turned 22, which is 11 years now, my emotional life is like the middle of an atomic explosion.
What's the deal. Every time I meet someone new, everything is great at first. Sex, getting along, all that stuff goes smoothly until I start to care about that person (I mean when I fall in love, not just infatuation). Then everything collapses in the blink of an eye. To illustrate this, I'll give a few examples. I asked psychologists for advice, they told me to hide my feelings and so I did. I created a kind of "master plan", but despite everything, destiny, however, will not be fooled. It always ends the same way, at the same moment. Here are some examples.
1. normal relationship. I was about 24 at the time - my partner gave me everything I needed, i.e. friend, lover, partner and kindred soul all in one. For 9 months everything was perfect, until I felt that I loved and needed her - and then everything went downhill within 2 weeks for no apparent reason. I tried to find out why, but never got an answer. And it always happens to me.
2. online relationship. Here the same thing, the moment feelings began to emerge, history repeated itself (we met often in person).
3. open relationship, good sex, conversations, dinners together, going out on weekends, to the bar or disco. Zero tension, we understood each other without words - the effect was the same. The answer I got was surprising - "something tells her to leave". She says she feels good, she has nothing to complain about, but she has to end it despite the fact that she felt something for me.
4. friends with benefits
Here we go again: high level of conversation, good sex, fooling around. We happened to sleep together cuddled up, no sex, everything perfect until I started to care about her. The result was avoidance, less sex and time she spent with me, etc. She even stopped dating others because of me, until I revealed my feelings, although I didn't change anything in my behavior.
I'm already terribly tired of all this and I don't know where to look for help myself. No one can explain it, and I'm slowly really starting to avoid any relationships.
The reason is simple - I am afraid that if I feel something again, I will lose a piece of myself again. Finally, I would like to add that all the partners to whom my feelings have not clung are still close to me and I have no problems with them.
Don't look for a curse by force, because really few people today know how to cast one so that it works.
I once hurt someone badly and now maybe it's getting revenge.
So, according to you, this person would have the opportunity to cast a curse, or maybe even have someone who knows about it do it, for a fee?
And have you wondered if maybe when you start getting involved, you become possessive or too pushy? Or maybe you just end up with women who are not interested in a serious relationship? (In the case of 'friends with benefits' it's obvious that she might have backed off...). You may think you're behaving the same way, but it doesn't have to be true.
If the answer to the first question is 'yes' and to the others 'no', then perhaps someone here will find the time to check if there is indeed something going on. In the meantime, you can read a bit about methods of dealing with curses and charms.
@seid Well, yes, it may seem that I am a stickler, but in fact I always give a lot of freedom in a relationship. I'm not possessive or jealous, I don't absorb their time or put restrictions. As for friends with benefits, she didn't run away, but a lot has changed, and I never let her feel anything more than friendship. As for that first question, the words that stuck in my mind with tears in my eyes - "may you always be as happy as I am now" - somehow fit what I am facing. I would also add that my mother deals with tarot and 99% of her predictions came true. There are always some relationships coming up for me, and the cards warn me against them. That's why I haven't allowed myself to get a divination in 7 years.
What if you try to fall in love first, get more emotionally involved, and only then think about sex?
You'll see what happens then.
@pajeczyna I've already tried to fall in love first and only then think about sex, and the result was identical. Sex is not the most important thing for me. I have repeatedly avoided such situations, ba, I even kept celibate for a year to convince myself, but still the moment I start feeling for someone more, everything falls apart. I know, it sounds ridiculous, and some people will probably say that I'm doing something wrong, etc. But I don't rush anything, I don't demand anything, I just take what they give me and behave normally. I try to live like everyone else, not looking for anything by force. However, for the past 3 years I have been avoiding any commitment, because then nothing breaks. Still, even though I know how to tell myself that I mustn't get involved and I avoid everything that could lead to that, I'm only human, not a rock of ice, and I always end up the same way. I know because it sits in my head, but on the outside I am the same as I was before the feelings appeared.
Maybe some psychoanalysis of your behavior? Or psychotherapy?
You didn't immediately assume that this is a magical action, did you? Do you perhaps have someone in mind who could "bestow" a curse on you in this way?
Sometimes ancestors unknowingly leave us such debts to pay. They may be rejected , forgotten or excluded people from the family. If you would search in history you might find, for example, that a great-grandfather rejected love(or an illegitimate child). And the men in the family have no luck in love, the women leave ...Maybe it is worth looking for a person who deals with the healing of family karma ?
@seid Psychosis is certainly not the cause. But the latter - a curse, seems very likely! Why do you think so? Because it can not be explained in a rational way, and the situation repeats itself no matter what you do. Such a situation is not normal. You know that others may think you are a freak or a loser, but maybe you are right and those who judge you are wrong? The list of potential perpetrators is not long, but there are at least 3 people who could do it - 2 women and a man who used to stalk you intrusively. Maybe one of them had opportunities and reasons to do so? One of these women lived in Bald Mountain, where people gifted with paranormal powers are said to live. This is just speculation, but you yourself feel that what is happening to you is not normal. You've been to psychologists, and aside from a high IQ, they haven't detected anything disturbing - no split ego, antisocial behavior or other disorders aside from slight breakdowns due to the situation. And you believe in paranormal phenomena and ghosts because you have experienced something unusual yourself a few times. Like almost 2 years ago in London, when your grandmother visited you to say goodbye. 20 minutes later, they called from home and you already knew she had died - you told your sister about it before she could break the news. So why is it so hard for people to believe something that others intuit? Instead of trying to understand, advise and help, they deny something they themselves believe.
@furion81 There is nothing to boast of a high intelligence quotient, while seeking help on a forum for esoteric enthusiasts among "esomaniacs"?
I believe in ghosts and that they can come to say goodbye, ask for forgiveness or permission, or even appear on someone's behalf. I know of frightening cases of such phenomena. I myself often dream of the dead - of family and friends. After such dreams I feel terribly tired and exhausted. There is certainly some truth in this.
Maybe you're just getting too caught up in this situation with failed relationships? Because what you focus on with your thoughts is what you attract into your life. There is a saying "as you bed, so you sleep". Maybe you yourself once acted inappropriately toward others and are now paying for it?
Another explanation could be that there is a lot of negative energy or unfriendly beings swirling around you (we don't know because you didn't give enough details), and you have something to work off karma.
This is just my "I think so".... based on a few posts without accurate information, it's hard to say anything for sure.
@furion81 You're miles of concepts!
Psychoanalysis and psychotherapy is not simply a consultation with a random psychologist. It is specialized help from a qualified doctor or psychologist who has the right background to effectively counsel you.
Given your high IQ, you will surely find a more rational and constructive explanation for this situation than the unlikely curse theory.
Sorry, I was not bragging, but I see that I actually made a mistake, writing for help. Do you guys know something about me? I wasn't bragging. Let me explain something. I was born on 14/02/1981, and at the age of the first grade of elementary school I manifested mirror images (I should add that I am left-handed). In order to learn and write, I was switched to my right hand (which was a nightmare). Instead, I have an amazing visual and auditory memory. In high school I spent one year in meetings and tests to confirm that I had dysgraphia and some symptoms of dyslexia. Even then I was found to have a high IQ. I enjoy reading books, and despite a strictly mathematical mind, I write poetry and finish books. I have a phlegmatic character with a dose of choleric - I never explode until it builds up. I'm not vindictive, but if someone loses their way, I cut myself off from such people and say "no" to them in a firm way. My way of being is between a realist and a modernist romantic. I never judge people by their appearance or by who they are. More by how they behave and what they have inside. I would only add that any person with a higher IQ is a potential lunatic. So much for my point.
Back to the delicatessen. The girl he was with (he loved her to madness) dumped him for me. He couldn't get over it for a period of more than 6 months. When I tried to talk to him, he threatened. He hated me and I realize that. Ba, I never break up relationships, that's my rule, and she didn't tell me about him. It came out over time. I never shot on two fronts and did not cheat on my partner. Sometimes it worked out that way, despite the initial fascination, something ended. Sometimes we became acquaintances, and sometimes it happened to hurt someone deeply. In two cases even too much, and being with someone out of pity will not do any good, and there is no point in dragging it out. I generally follow the principle of "live and let others live". If you need more data, I will be happy to provide. Unfortunately, I do not remember the name of this amant. As for the names of the girls - one is Sylvia, and the other is Anna. Unfortunately, I do not remember their names. It was a long time ago.
@furion81 Perhaps in your intelligence lies the root of the problem? People with high IQs often find it difficult to form relationships, because human relationships do not easily lend themselves to rigid logic.
High intelligence (IQ) does not necessarily go hand in hand with high emotional intelligence (EQ), which can cause you to overlook your mistakes or not understand your actions, leading to relationship breakdowns. It would definitely be more effective to consult a psychoanalyst instead of looking for the cause in curses. Even if this disappoints you, it's worth knowing that looking for curses can lead you into the snares of scammers who will want to make money by offering to "remove the curse."
Pay attention to it maybe 😉
@cobalt Talking about my problems with a professional who deals with this on a daily basis, and trying to find a way out of the situation, was unsuccessful. The analysis of one of my relationships that we conducted yielded no results. According to the specialist, nothing was sticking. You can't be very close to someone and within a week, for no reason at all, change your attitude 180 degrees, leave and be lonely. Her behavior was not due to meeting someone new, family or work problems.
@furion81 You are left to visit another specialist (make sure he is competent) and analyze all your relationships. It is difficult to identify a recurring pattern from just one case 🙂
@cobalt This person has more than 30 years of experience in the profession, she helps people with relationship problems on a daily basis (and is effective at it), and also supports people in picking themselves up after failures in life. He has known me for more than 20 years and I have email contact with her. He was the one who advised me to write during depressive states. He also noticed that I find it difficult to get in touch with people with much lower IQs, and in such relationships I quickly get bored and leave.
@furion81 It appears that this specialist may not have a broad enough perspective, since he decided to handle the case of someone he knows personally. A professional approach usually involves referring an acquaintance to another expert who has no prior relationship with that person. The lack of a personal relationship allows a more objective assessment of the situation and avoids potential conflicts of interest 🙂
@cobalt Only this specialist managed to reach me. Simply put, I have many layers and barriers that are difficult to penetrate. Although difficult to manage, it is possible, but it is solely my decision whether I open up or not. I don't let anyone manipulate me, nor do I try to manipulate others myself. In relationships I show my true self, while outside of them I always present a different version of myself.
@furion81 I understand that the situation is complicated.
I'm wondering if you are looking for a concrete solution to your problems, or if you just need to confide in someone? Do you want to share how difficult your life is, how you are trying to be honest, and yet you are facing setbacks?
Sometimes just expressing your feelings and frustrations can bring relief. However, if you're hoping for specific help, why not think about exactly what kind of support you need?
@furion81 Suggesting psychosis in this situation seems too hasty.
The key question is: did you create this thread to get an objective assessment of the situation, or are you looking for confirmation of your belief in being cursed? It is worth remembering that the mere feeling of being cursed is not proof of a curse. In most cases where people believe they are cursed, there is no real evidence to support the theory.
How about looking at the situation from a different perspective and considering alternative explanations for the difficulties experienced?
It seems that the real purpose of creating this thread was to boast about his alleged sexual achievements and high intelligence quotient.
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